Rage. | A Sadness Within Me. |
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| Written by Abdun Nur J | |
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A sadness festers deep within my core, it grows with slow resolve. Ephemeral joys can not dampen this aching melancholy, an ever growing suffering, suppressing the latent elation of my heart, this strains heavily on my soul, filling my thoughts with a hopeless sense of privation. It emphasizes each negative experience, intensifying growing potency, like the relentless pull of a deep implosion ever drawing in my energy. Each interaction with wilful ignorance, feeds its growth. Each hopeful perception; demonstrated hopeless through the actions of each soul I meet. Each lie they protect, each dictate they accept, each oppression they perpetrate in the name of conformity, cultivates my sadness. The protests I make seem futile, silent to the ear. The words I write seem meaningless, viewed through dyslexic eyes. The actions I perform seem constrained, alien and ridiculous to the senses. Feeding on the flesh of children, the ignorant pervade usury; blind, deaf, senseless, thoughtless subjects. Feeding on the flesh of the world, the ignorant worship sovereigns obsequiously, every dictate, every desire, they ingratiate deluded. The constrictive world imprisons us all, both sovereign and subject, the power is illusion, the illusion is devastating. Freedom I declare, is simple to achieve, evidence overwhelms verifications of its truth. ‘Refuse any sovereign, refuse any usury, and you will be free!’ They look knowingly, confident, condescending; they see me deluded, confused, ignorant, they need no evidence, they need no verifications, they need no truth, they are complicate in their own destruction, eager to please their sovereigns. Community is lost, women strive to delight the beasts, an untainted man is rejected, forced to conform or dysfunction isolated. Unity has departed the world of man, isolation holds all down; divided they conform to subjugation, wilful, indoctrinated and conditioned they forge the chains of slavery, and shackle themselves to their prison wall; there they feed heartily on the flesh of children with ravenousness appetite, excited and eager to hoard their flesh. My sadness has only one thing to temper its cold resolve, a powerful rage, empathy tears at my very flesh, I see the suffering and am powerless, I see the path society is travelling and feel outraged, I see the values people hold and feel betrayed. I long to find community, I aspire to forge connections; I pine for loyal, reasoned union; I strive to defend my family. All these hopes are crushed within a constrictive system, all challenge baffled upon their insurmountable barrier. Only through unity, can this manifestation of Jahannam be transformed into its conflicting state, Jannah, only then can my gentle aspirations be tenable. This subject, this servant of sovereigns, this wilfully ignorant being, this indoctrinated mind, this conditioned thought, this callous emotion of consciousness, this is the barrier, this is the insurmountable partition, so each encounter I attempt connection, and physically suffer from the impenetrable views of men.
So the sadness poisons my resolve, pollutes my passion, it cultivates a swell of negative force, the rage filled hate is the fruit of the deep set ache. |
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| Ramadhan |
| 30 Thursday |
| 1431 HIJRAH |